Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

How (not) to be classy...

You have heard me rant before about school parking issues. Nothing changes. No improvement. If anything, it gets worse, as you may gather from the detail of the "classy" activities witnessed below.

Now, apparently, the "classy" parents around school are upping the anti. Not content with a car park and an adjoining coffee shop, they want to create a different kind of impression.

So, after watching this unfold at school this week,  I give you a run down of how to be a classy parent -

1. Run a little bit late for school. Blame your children.

2. Drive slightly erratically at 60km in a 40km zone.

3. Slow down a little, maybe, as you approach the school crossing. Or don't bother to slow down - apparently this is optional.

4. Don't worry about indicating, this is optional as well, when you pull into a  cul-de-sac to turn around.

5. You could use the cul-de-sac to do a full turn, or you could just turn in the roadway, holding up all of the traffic. Yeah, good plan, hold up all the traffic.

6. This has the added benefit of blocking sight of the oncoming traffic from all children and parents who are trying to cross to the school gate.

7. If anyone dares look at you the wrong way for this, do not hesitate in giving them the finger. Honestly, they will be so appalled it is laughable, and it will give them a giggle. Go the finger. It's all class.

8. As you wait to turn around, light a cigarette. It will kill a few minutes. Oh, you have children in the back of the car?

Apparently this doesn't matter. One of the children is young enough to still be in a booster seat? No matter, light up anyway. 

9. When you finally pull into the kiss and drop zone, get out (still with fag in hand, obviously) to get the kids school bags out of the boot. Let the kids out but don't bother to kiss them goodbye. Watch them run away off into school.

10. When a concerned parent loudly wonders whether it is indeed against the law in SA to smoke in cars carrying children, give them a hair flick, straighten your puffa jacket, hop back into your four wheel drive that has never been off road in its life (but sees plenty of filth from the fags on the inside), and drive away, again, at 60km, despite the fact that its a 40km zone.

And finally, congratulate yourself that you are the classiest parent ever. Not.

You disgust me.

Friday, 4 March 2011

And what makes you think YOU are so special?

Image from here

Rant ahead.

And sorry if I come across as a snarky bitch. But I am. Really bloody snarky.

And I am sorry if this offends anyone in particular - but you know what? If you find yourself offended, I'm sorry, but I believe I am right.

What the hell gives people the right to think that they are so special that they can flout the rules?

We get school notes home (in triplicate) about the same issues EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. The volume of paper doesn't bother me.  The fact that the SAME requests have to be made of grown adults every single week DOES frustrate the hell out of me.

Do parents not read these notes that get sent home?

Or do they read them and then ignore the requests?

Or do they they think that they are so special that the rules don't apply to them?

Or maybe their child is so special? So amazing that the general school rules aren't meant for them?

For the love of all things, when did common sense get flushed down the toilet?

School parking issues and road safety. Why is it so hard for fucks sake??

Image from here

School drop of time is 8.25am - 8.45 am. This is a twenty minute window. This is plenty of time. And if you find you are repeatedly late, doesn't that mean you are simply not allowing enough time in the morning? Consistently late can surely become consistently on time?

If you drive your kids to school, yes, you may have to find a parking spot.

No. Not in the kiss and drop zone. The kiss and drop zone is clearly marked NO PARKING. This means you cannot park there.  You pull up, kiss the kids, they hop out, and you drive off. End of story. No handbrake required.

Oh? You don't want to do a kiss and drop? No problem, find a car spot then. It's a quiet suburban area that has housed a school for over forty years - I'm reckoning the residents get that, by now, their usually peaceful little streets are utilised by parents parking. They are gracious about it.

Oh, but you thinks it's OK to park across someones driveway?! Really? What, because your kid is "gifted "?  All of a sudden it becomes acceptable to break the law  as well as all simple rules of courtesy, and block someones gate? You are kidding me?!

Why don't you park a little further up the street? Where there is plenty of space?

Oh, it's too far away? For who? You? Or your kid, that just wants to run and play anyway - trust me, a little walk does us all good.

Oh, you're late for work, are you? Oh, so you must think that you are the only working parent in the world? You think that makes you special? Do you not realise that you are one in a hundred parents this morning who is working this morning, and in a rush?

Oh, so you think it's OK to park in the disabled spot? The one that is reserved for a child with spina bifida, whose parents drop him and need the space around the spot to manipulate his wheelchair? Oh, but you're only going to be a minute? NO! Move your car.

Oh, but you want to drop your kid close to their classroom? So you think its OK to park on a yellow line? And faff about with your kid? And hold up all the traffic at a childrens school crossing? Really? When was that EVER going to be OK? Oh, hold  on, I'm sorry, you're going to move your car? By swinging into and then reversing out of the main school gate? Where scores of little children are walking into school? You don't think this may be making other parents nearly vomit in panic as they see their kids nearly run over by you, you selfish cow?

So you think there should be a parents car park?

THERE IS! It's little way down the street. Loads of spots. Shady ones too.

You didn't know about the car park?

Ahhhh, that's because you didn't read the million notes sent home this term already about school parking rules and car parking advice.