Showing posts with label Goddess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goddess. Show all posts

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Thread that, angels of beauty...

Now that I am getting old, my top lip is a thing that needs to be dealt with, with alarming regularity.
And summer is here - I get a tan, my hair goes blonder and my top lip is like an out of control caterpillar that's been bleached. Movember? Yep. Me. (Over sharing? Much?)

Anyway, for the past few years I have had the fine ladies of Paradise (my superb local beauty one stop shop) deal with my top lip via waxing. One second of excruciating pain, like ripping a band aid off, and we are done. A swift wipe of metho across my top lip to stop any potential breakouts, $5 later, and I am all shiny, hairfree and happy. Thanks for coming. I get it done every month without fail.

Anyway, for some reason, I decided I needed a pedicure. Random. Like you do. And the lovely ladies at Paradise were all fully booked. So I decided to be "unfaithful" and go somewhere else. A quickie. There is a beauty salon near the kids school called "Beauty Angels" which looked convenient and not too grubby, who could fit me in there and then, so in I go.

Pleasant coffee, nice little bit of chit chat, all whilst the girl attended to my feet. I had my footsies scraped and soaked and exfoliated and scrubbed and all dealt with. Bright red toe nail polish applied, which I was admiring, when I realised I had ten minutes spare before I had to pick the kids up - "could you do my top lip whilst I am here....?"

No problem, and she lead me through to the beauty room - it was all soft lighting, aromatherapy candles, dolphin music and crystals. Very spa. Thank you.

I leaned back as I lay on the beauty bed, and she moved in behind me. Which did feel kind of odd, but whatever.

As I laid back, she kind of held my face in her hands and inspected me and my top lip in a kind of over analysing way - all cross eyed and technical. Weird.

And then instead of smearing on the hot wax stuff with the oversized paddle pop stick, she starts going at my face with some snapping stretched rubber band elastic thread thingo. She was playing some complicated cats cradle game with my entire face for fucks sake?!

She must have seen the utter terror and confusion in my eyes as I cried out in a demented fashion from shock and bizarre pain.

What the hell?? I actually raised myself up, and no word of a lie, she pushed me back on the bed to carry on, the sadistic bitch.

I squeaked and she said "you need to relax". RELAX? You are kidding me?  And I blew my stack. I literally had to elbow her out of my face as I got up and screeched asked her "sorry lady, but what the hell are you doing to my face? I just want a top lip wax?!"

I then acted totally like one of my kids and burst into tears, hopped off the bed grabbed my bag and ran out of "Beauty Angels" (angels, my arse) and fled.

I am not joking when I tell you my heart was beating a million times faster than it should - from pain and from the adrenalin from my bizarre fight or flight situation.


I tell you, I do not care who tells me it is hygenic and better for my face or restricts re-growth or whatever. That it is better for sensitive skin and does not use chemicals? I could not give a rats clacker. This threading method of hair removal may be the all new trend in depilation - I do not give a shit. It is scary and it bloody hurts. It may be a respected tradional method originating from ancient Prussia, a sign of wealth and luxury -  whatever- I couldn't care less - it's undignified and terrifying.

I tell you, I am just gonna grow it all and turn into an aging hippy.

I realised, after I calmed down and after my heart rate returned to normal, that I hadn't actually paid for the torture, or indeed for my quite nice pedicure.  So I sent Charlie in later with $50 to slap onto the counter, and he dripped chocolate Paddle Pop all over their shiny floors. Thread that, angels of beauty.

Do you wax? Thread? Pluck? Shave? Am I being an utter baby?

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Friday, 9 April 2010

Me time

I want to put on........

Some of this:

Then some of this:


And some of these:

And maybe some of this:

Shame about the kids. And the holidays. And the laundry. And the cooking.

Bring on their bedtime.


Me time is golden.

I will do it for me.

MckLinky Blog Hop

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Goddess Grooming......

Sine the Charlie debarcle, over a month ago now, I have been increasingly aware of the lack of what I call "goddess grooming" that I have had time for.

Don't get me wrong here: as a Mumma to three little tackers, I had blessed little time before Charlie's accident. (Some would say fuck all, to be frank).

But amazingly, I did used to manage to wash my hair and shave my bits and have a weekly appointment for "nice things that ladies like" kinda treatment, with the gorgeous girls down at Body By Sharon, my local beauty salon, in a nearly suburb, aptly named, Paradise.

Anyway, now that Charlie is home, and things are returning to their more normal and predictable groove, my weekly appointments can resume! Yay!

  • Nails
  • Feet
  • Chinny-chin-chin wax
  • Hair cut/re-style
This evening I have had a manicure and a pedicure. Thank goddess for that. I feel vaguely human again.

On the one hand I feel shamingly superficial for getting off on my grooming, but these days I adore the tizzying. I really do love it.

(It took me about 38 years to realise I was worth pampering. I am now making up for lost time. Superficial it might be, but if sparkly feet make me happier, then money and time well spent I say!)

As I was typing this, I got a real sense of déjà vu.

You know why?

'Cos of this post here!

Can you tell I am addicted to grooming?!

Are you? Tell me what makes you feel like a goddess groomed?

Thursday, 4 February 2010

A Child Free Day......

........and I miss them heaps.

Groceries done.
Nails done.
Mother dealt with.
Bejewelled accomplished.
Run done
Hair washed and legs and others bits shaved and groomed
Bills paid.

And now I have an hour or so before I need to pick them up.

And I miss them.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Wise words.............

For any one out there in blog land who is:

  • Dieting
  • Watching their weight
  • Gaining slimness
  • Doing WW
  • On Plan
  • Adopting a healthy lifestyle
  • Choosing well
  • Eating sensibly
  • Getting active

Or indeed any of the other trite sayings that are associated with this whole food and exercise caper, I heard these wise words the other day, from the mother of a friend of mine.

Both the friend and her mother are delightfully trim, so I heeded this little gem:

"It is not about the number on the scales, it's all about the silhouette"

Thursday, 18 December 2008

I wish........

I could go and do this retreat............................

If I had 10 days where I thought the kids and Andrew wouldn't miss me, I would be there like a shot!

It is run in both Victoria and in Byron Bay.......I'd be going to Queensland for sure!

So please, can the universe send me the time and resources to get to go on this retreat, please?!

Thursday, 24 July 2008

A good hair day.........

I will never aspire to have hair as beautiful as my daughters (long, dark red and wavy) but I have just treated myself to a long over due hair cut and colour........

It is SO true what they say: that a good hair cut can make you feel and million dollars.....

On top of the world today, as in the process of having my hair done, not only my hairdresser but also the apprentice and the owner of the salon all commented on my weight loss, which is SUCH a great feeling.........

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

"That time of the month".........

Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I have a" perfect" and natural monthly cycle. (I put "perfect" in inverted commas as I am a very moody hormonal bitch at times!)

It makes me feel good to have a natural rhythm month by is predictable & a sure sign that my hormones and my body are all working as they should. Hormonal bitch or not.

And the new age hippy earth mother in me loves the fact that is all connected with the moon and the tides.....

After having three successful pregnancies and giving birth totally  naturally to three beautiful children, dare I say I am actually proud of my body and its female cycle, in as much as it is a thing I do so well.......

BUT, it really DOES make me cranky to see whose scales shoot up just before "that time of the month".

Regardless of how diligent I have been with my food intake, and despite my exerted efforts with exercise, it seems irrelevant 3 days before my period is due, as I know the sales will show me at least 0.5g heavier regardless!?

But I am still a goddess, so I guess I'll accept it........and take the "win" in about 6 days time when my body's tidal level returns to normal!

Friday, 28 March 2008

A woman should have..........


A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

One friend who always makes her laugh…
And one who lets her cry…

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

Eight matching plates,
Wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will
Make her guests feel honored.

A feeling of control over her destiny…

How to fall in love, without losing herself…

How to quit a Job
Break up with a lover
And how to confront a friend without ruining the friendship

When to try harder… and

That she can’t change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents…

That her childhood may not have been perfect..but;
It's over now…

What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

How to live alone…even if she doesn’t like it…

Whom she can trust,
Whom she can’t,
And why she shouldn’t
Take it personally…

Where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..
Or a charming inn in the woods…
When her soul needs soothing…

What she can and can’t accomplish
In a day…
In a month..
And in a year.....

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

The Good Wife's Guide

In case you were wondering just what it took back in the 1950's to qualify for "Good Wife" Status, Housekeeping Monthly was kind enough to print a set of guidelines in their 1955 May Issue.

Noteworthy: The pictured children do not appear to be screaming, the wife is wearing 3 inch heals and the husband looks like a cross between Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart. Of minor interest may be the fact that my granny had an oven just like the one in the picture, and I can tell you straight away that one does not appear so calm when trying to cook dinner on a 1950s match lit gas stove!

According to many cynics, the general consensus is that the above article is a fake.

But in the seeds of my memory, I am SURE I recall reading a very similar article/chapter in one of my Granny's old books.

Or was it that it was from the bookshelves of the room I rented in Sydney......the guy that owned the unit: his late mother was the epitome of a 1950's housewife, and I am sure I can remember reading such an article on one of her old books.

Also in the haze of memory I am sure I can recall photocopying the article and showing it to the friends at work, male and female, for a laugh.

Either way, I find it enchanting that such a article, authentic or not, STILL makes it's way over email through homes & offices around the world.

I am sure it was originally distributed as "a lets share the joke fax".....way before the days of email........I note all scans of the "original" all appear feature heavy use of highlighter texta and underlining and bubbles for emphasis!

I think blokes like to share it because secretly they wish that all their wives really did act like that all the time.

Women who have yet to have children and the "pleasure" of being a housewife and are still enjoying the independence of a career may find it smugly amusing, in as much as they perceive that they will never lower themselves to such outrageous subservience.

And women, like me, who have husbands and families that they love and that they are inordinately proud of find it amusing too. Because for all of its retro archaic nature, isn't the list exactly what we really do strive to do and be everyday? (As well as maybe juggle a part time job, kindy drops offs, a social life and some golden "me time" too?)

Fake or not, it's entertaining on so many levels..............