My Blog, My Story - one of the many things I spoke about at DPCON12
It was the end of 2007. I was submerged in the chaos of three children under the age of three, but I finally felt that I was emerging from the mind numbing mind fuckery mundane that the life of a stay at home Mum to very small children can be.
I was determined that the next year was going to be better. It had to be. Else I feared I would find myself curled up in a ball, in a lovely white jacket with very special sleeves…
So, I took stock.Lovely husband? Check
Beautiful, healthy children? CheckGreat house in a lovely location? Check
Plenty of work from home opportunities? CheckFriends? Close friends nearby? Check.
A handbag and jewellery collection to die for? Check.Health and happiness? Errm. No.
Great figure? Errr, no.
A wardrobe full of beautiful clothes? No. (Lots of sacks though…)Body confidence? Nope.
Loving myself? No, not at all.Feeling great? No, actually, feeling totally shit. I felt like crap.
I was sad, disappointed with myself, tired and very unhappy. In hindsight I suspect postnatal depression coupled with a lifetime of hang-ups over food…
I was 126kg and a size 26. I was morbidly obese and close to forty. I was a smoking. I was a heart attack just waiting to happen. Addicted to comfort food, addicted to emotional eating and addicted to cigarettes too…
We had so many plans for the future, the lovely husband and I. So many exciting ideas for ourselves as a family, as individuals, and as a couple.Each time I came up with a strategy to ensure that the forthcoming year would be our “best ever year”, the elephant in the room would loom. Dark and grey, and whilst not menacing as such, a great big blot of annoyance and inconvenience.
The elephant in the room was my weight.My weight and size and health were blocking everything.
So I determinedly decided right there and then that I had no choice but to just tackle the hurdle of my excess weight.I am a project manager by trade. This meant that I really felt the need to write down my plan, my goals and to journal my progress. Perhaps, I thought, I should blog about my weight loss?
I have blogged since early in 2002. Since before Blogger was owned by Google, since the olden days when you had to PAY for a Blog account. And there was no ability to upload photos in those days. But I was familiar with the idea of online journaling every day – why not add the diet to my daily electronic scribbles?
So a new blog was cranked up. I called her Diminishing Lucy. Set to public. Somehow I knew that I had to be honest with myself and the world wide web about my health. I suspect I needed to let it all hang out. Metaphorically, of course…
Gradually, very gradually, I began to lose weight. Gradually, more readers followed.There is no secret to my weight loss. I eat less, and move more. But we all know that if it were that easy, no one would ever be overweight. It’s the emotional aspect to food that began to really intrigue me.
Over the past few years I have lost nearly 40kg. Vital to this story is that I have kept it off.Did you know that over 80% of people that lose weight go onto regain it all back again and add a few more kilos on into the bargain?
I strongly believe that the reason I have not regained the forty kilos is because I have blogged.Blogging about weight loss makes me accountable. Blogging about my life as a whole, the good, the bad, the ugly, means that I represent all the women you’ll ever meet that are trying to lose weight as they manage busy lives, families and careers. Blogging has helped me connect with women and men all over the world.
Blogging about weight loss made me really analyse, for myself and others the reasons behind my emotional eating. It has made me search into my past, into my childhood and my family, for all of the reasons I can find, to try and solve the emotional eating struggle.My blog started gathering a little bit of momentum when I had lost about 20 kilos. This did wonders for my motivation, and my pride drove me forward. My away from motivation to lose weight was my health, for my children and my life. My toward motivation was the pride I found through my blog, and my future.
The pictures you see up here? They show the outward story. The physical changes are evident. I am no doubt smaller and I certainly fit into a much smaller dress size. I am still not skinny by any stretch of the imagination.
The internal differences are, however, the ones the count.Energy? Do I have loads of feel good energy every single day as a result of liking myself enough to eat for health? Yes. Check
Do I love feeling comfortable and positive about my health and my future and my habits? Yes. Check.Do I feeling reassured that my lifestyle is one that positively influences my children rather than negatively impacts them? Check.
Do I wake up every day with an absence of guilt? Yes. Check.
Am I happy and hopeful? Yes. CheckDo I have pride in myself and in the friendships I have made through my blog and through social media? Do I have pride in my blogging? Yes. Check.