Tuesday, 10 April 2012

My Blog, My Story...

My Blog, My Story  - one of the many things I spoke about at DPCON12









It was the end of 2007. I was submerged in the chaos of three children under the age of three, but I finally felt that I was emerging from the mind numbing mind fuckery mundane that the life of a stay at home Mum to very small children can be.

I was determined that the next year was going to be better. It had to be. Else I feared I would find myself curled up in a ball, in a lovely white jacket with very special sleeves…

So, I took stock.
Lovely husband? Check

Beautiful, healthy children? Check
Great house in a lovely location? Check

Plenty of work from home opportunities? Check
Friends? Close friends nearby? Check.

A handbag and jewellery collection to die for? Check.
Health and happiness? Errm. No.

Great figure? Errr, no.

A wardrobe full of beautiful clothes? No. (Lots of sacks though…)
Body confidence? Nope.

Loving myself? No, not at all.
Feeling great? No, actually, feeling totally shit. I felt like crap.

 I was 126kg and a size 26. I was morbidly obese and close to forty. I was a smoking. I was a heart attack just waiting to happen. Addicted to comfort food, addicted to emotional eating and addicted to cigarettes too…
I was sad, disappointed with myself, tired and very unhappy.  In hindsight I suspect postnatal depression coupled with a lifetime of hang-ups over food…

We had so many plans for the future, the lovely husband and I. So many exciting ideas for ourselves as a family, as individuals, and as a couple.
Each time I came up with a strategy to ensure that the forthcoming year would be our “best ever year”, the elephant in the room would loom. Dark and grey, and whilst not menacing as such, a great big blot of annoyance and inconvenience.

The elephant in the room was my weight.
My weight and size and health were blocking everything.

So I determinedly decided right there and then that I had no choice but to just tackle the hurdle of my excess weight.
I am a project manager by trade. This meant that I really felt the need to write down my plan, my goals and to journal my progress. Perhaps, I thought, I should blog about my weight loss?

I have blogged since early in 2002. Since before Blogger was owned by Google, since the olden days when you had to PAY for a Blog account. And there was no ability to upload photos in those days. But I was familiar with the idea of online journaling every day – why not add the diet to my daily electronic scribbles?

So a new blog was cranked up. I called her Diminishing Lucy. Set to public. Somehow I knew that I had to be honest with myself and the world wide web about my health. I suspect I needed to let it all hang out. Metaphorically, of course…

Gradually, very gradually, I began to lose weight. Gradually, more readers followed.
There is no secret to my weight loss. I eat less, and move more. But we all know that if it were that easy, no one would ever be overweight. It’s the emotional aspect to food that began to really intrigue me.

Over the past few years I have lost nearly 40kg. Vital to this story is that I have kept it off.
Did you know that over 80% of people that lose weight go onto regain it all back again and add a few more kilos on into the bargain?

I strongly believe that the reason I have not regained the forty kilos is because I have blogged.
Blogging about weight loss makes me accountable. Blogging about my life as a whole, the good, the bad, the ugly, means that I represent all the women you’ll ever meet that are trying to lose weight as they manage busy lives, families and careers.  Blogging has helped me connect with women and men all over the world.

Blogging about weight loss made me really analyse, for myself and others the reasons behind my emotional eating. It has made me search into my past, into my childhood and my family, for all of the reasons I can find, to try and solve the emotional eating struggle.
My blog started gathering a little bit of momentum when I had lost about 20 kilos. This did wonders for my motivation, and my pride drove me forward. My away from motivation to lose weight was my health, for my children and my life. My toward motivation was the pride I found through my blog, and my future.


The pictures you see up here? They show the outward story. The physical changes are evident. I am no doubt smaller and I certainly fit into a much smaller dress size. I am still not skinny by any stretch of the imagination.

The internal differences are, however, the ones the count.
Energy? Do I have loads of feel good energy every single day as a result of liking myself enough to eat for health? Yes. Check

Do I love feeling comfortable and positive about my health and my future and my habits? Yes. Check.
Do I feeling reassured that my lifestyle is one that positively influences my children rather than negatively impacts them? Check.


Do I wake up every day with an absence of guilt? Yes. Check.

Am I happy and hopeful? Yes. Check
Do I have pride in myself and in the friendships I have made through my blog and through social media? Do I have pride in my blogging? Yes. Check.

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33 comments:

  1. You SHOULD have pride Lucy, what you've done is amazing!

    I've been feeling so crappy myself lately, in pain most of the time and slowly realising that the cause is probably my weight. I was supposed to have bariatric surgery, but I can't afford it now. Methinks I need to have more faith in myself and my own ability to lose weight.

    Hmm, I feel a blog post coming on...

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    1. Whatever method works Jody. And yes, you need to believe you can. Crucial.

      Feeling better each morning is THE best reward.

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  2. Brilliant and inspiring. As I say so often, blogging really does bring out what is good and right with the world. xo

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    1. Thank you Jane. Blogging brings out what is good and right within me - writing forces honesty...

      xx

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  3. There really is nothing better than feeling healthy, when you lose weight you feel so much more alive - I have been losing weight too and one thing that surprised me was that I wake up much earlier now and sleep much better through the night. Feeling yourself getting fitter is just so amazing. You have achieved so much, you should be so proud of yourself!

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    1. Thanks Sarah - you are SO right - sleeping gets so much easier and the qulaity of sleep is so much better!

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  4. Thank you for sharing. You are so correct in writing about emotions, self esteem and hidden reasons for our food problems.

    It's not often about the food! Hope your work is a dream too.xo

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    1. My whole weight battle has all been driven by my head, my brain and my thoughts...fix that, and the whole "diet" thing gets a whole load easier...

      xx

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  5. awesome, lucy! determination, and will power... eating less, and moving... kudos to you! :)

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    1. And wanting to do it - and not feeling resentment...

      xx

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  6. Fantastic Lucy...you are a great role model for Women and Men battling their weight. Your latest photos radiate life xx

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  7. Well done, Lucy. Good on you for sharing your story at DPC12 but especially for blogging it as you went so we can all be encouraged. Thank you.

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  8. Words can't even describe how amazing and wonderful you are. You. Your blog. They have done more for me than anything else in my life. True story. xxx

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  9. Amazing! Great story! Hope you're very proud xx

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  10. Congrats to you. I'm in the process of losing weight and am only dropping a kilo a week. I know that's the healthiest way of doing it but, like most women, I am impatient and want it to drop off faster. And lucky you for having everything else you have. I'm single, childless and 38 next month. For some of us ife doesn't go the way we want, but for those that get it all, hang on to it and never let it go.

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  11. You look awesome. and you have every reason to feel amazing and proud!

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  12. Good for you, recognizing what needed to be changed and then taking the steps to change it!

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  13. You have an awesome story. Thanks.

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  14. You have a great story Lucy :)

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  15. You are amazing! It's so true that the internal differences are the ones that count the most. Thanks for continuing to share your journey and your positive words.

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  16. Lucy, just sending you some lovn" from just up the road. You are a blessing and gift to so many. xxx Lynda

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  17. If you can do it, I can do it! That's what I'm getting from you. thank you. I start tomorrow. Step 1. No sugar in my coffee.

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  18. I'm envy to see your great performance. thanks for inspiring me.

    http://healthybeautifulblog.blogspot.com/

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  19. Love your story Lucy, you tell it beautifully and from the heart (And you look great!)

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  20. You made me cry again. xxx

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  21. Inspiring Lucy. Really inspiring.
    You are doing a wonderful thing, both for yourself and for others by sharing your story. Thank You.

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  22. Loved hearing you at DPCON and it's so good to read this again. I aim also for that feeling of having gained a better life, letting go of guilt, eating great grub and not being obsessive. So much is in my head and if I stay calm and don't rush around like a maniac, life is so much better so less emotional eating. How long did that take to learn!!??

    Thanks for your story and continuing inspiration.

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  23. Not been reading your blog for long, so great to hear about how you started. And well done; you must have heaps of confidence now, to speak at a conference! If I started up a blog about my weight, I would probably call it "expanding Sarojini", as I have gone from skinny to size 12 in just 7 years. But maybe the thought that anyone could see how I am getting on would force me to stick to my eating and excercise plan...?

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  24. What an amazing achievment Lucy! I have recently lost 15lb and I feel 100% happier. It is amazing what we can do when we put our minds to it eh?

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  25. Oh Lucy, you gorgeous girl. I am so delighted for you, my friend. I joined your blogging journey long after those old photos were taken. Now I have so much more context to the 'Lucy story'. You are fabulous. I am so proud of you! J x

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  26. Lucy you write so well and you have a wonderful story to tell. I have slowly been putting the weight on over the past couple of years and pretending to myself that's it not happening. You've just inspired me to not let it get out of control. More moving, less eating. I love reading your blog. Kx

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  27. You have come so far, Lucy, and your story is incredible. Thank you for sharing it. x

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  28. you're blog is so well organized, congratulations.

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I am a comment addict. Thank you so much for your words...xx