Friday, 24 February 2012

Male. Friends. Men.

I am in bed. It's hot. The air con is noisy and the house feels heavy and clogged and I feel achey and stuffy and clogged too.

My iPad is shit for commenting. I am sorry for my lack of connection.

I am grateful this past week for men.

I have been touched, this week, figuratively, by men, males, friends who seem to have collected and clumped together, when I need them. Like there is an invisible but powerful beacon that gives them a sense to be in touch? Virtually, and right here.

They range in age from 30, to as old as my Mum.

I have slept with none of them, nor will I ever.

They are vastly different. I have been blessed, I realise, to attract the kind of kind men who have needed me at times, as much as I now need them.

Some of them know one another, vaguely. Through Darwin connections, where the world is shrunk.

I do not need overt affection or hugs or sympathies right now. I need to be busy, to be filled with action. I need that male ability to not verbalise issues, nor make me cry with comfort kindness. I need to draw them to me, to remind me that I am whole and full and vital. I am not just a mother and a daughter and an intermittent blogger.

These men, and the roles they know me in, know me to be happy. To be driven at work. To be caustic but vibrant. To be gracious but fun. To be female and strong. They know all facets of me.

My lovely husband knows all these things. I take him for granted and it is mutual.

But my male friends - they have the distance to admire these traits without romantic love. They respect and are fond, but are not indulgent.

Lucky for me the lovely husband knows and shares my male friends, and we share a trust.

I have always attracted male friends. I am not butch, nor one of the lads. Nor am I a simperer, or coy. I like men, and I like to flirt. I do not flirt with my male friends. I am just me.

Dan, Tony. Paul, Paul and Rick. Thank you. Just, thank you.

For the messages, for the emails, for the breakfasts. For the thousand conversations in my kitchen over coffee. For the cafes and the red wine and the Scrabble. For the knowledge and the knowing and the trust and the pub. Through the encompassing of my children as you help me. For everything - thank you.

Lucy xx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. So glad you have your male friends there to provide the support you need right now. You have captured so perfectly what makes them rock. I'd be lost without mine.

  2. what moving tribute to friendship. you write so beautifully about them.

  3. They sound like awesome friends Lucy. You're a lucky lady, and they obviously know how special the freindships are to you.

    Of course men and women can be 'just friends'. Often these friendships are the easiest!

  4. My closest friendships have been with males since I was at school. They tell stuff like it is, they don't dwell, they laugh and love and are there. Lovely post x

  5. Well I just really wish I had some more male friends now. They sound wonderful x

  6. You are very lucky to still have this close bond with your male buddies. Mine seemed to falter a little after children. I miss all the things you've mentioned here, Lucy. x

  7. coming from a family of boys with little me in the middle of them all I get this post. Men I understand, theres no mind games, just plain and simple how it is.. I like to hang out with them as a mate..

    nice you have so many good friends :)


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