Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Ten things I know...

Lissy, aged 19


I am in a very very busy place over the next few days/weeks.

I shall go into more detail later...when I get chance to breath.

In between times, a list - a list of ten things I know, today.

1. My Mother was once very beautiful. Today she is sick sick sick.
2. My children are amazing. Their tolerance and acceptance and resilience over circumstance is phenomenal.
3. I shall never ever smoke again as long as I live. Nor will I ever get addicted to alcohol.
4. Some shit is so hard to deal with you need to obliterate it with boiling water. Literally. Seriously.
5. The Aged Care Assessment Team here in Australia are underpaid and undervalued and overworked.
6. My solicitor (who is also my Mum's solicitor) is worth his weight in gold. He is the calmest and most gentle of gentlemen.
7. My lovely husband supports me, and strokes my head as I fall asleep, and I am so grateful for him.
8. You can play a lot of Plants and Zombies on your iPhone when waiting around hospitals.
9. It is fucking hot today in Adelaide - 36`c and overcast. I'd like a storm please
10. I have really really great friends - Sue, Dave, Kat, Mike, Paul, Emmy, Linda, Lynda, Tammy, Chad...without you, I could not deal with practicalities around my fragile mother. That you understand, and that you treat my kids and dogs as your own makes me feel safe. Thank you.

My Mum is even sicker. How is that possible? She is made of strong genes. She hangs on. I didn't think it could get worse, but it has. I just hope for comfort. For her, and selfishly for me too.

She is hospitalised, and it seems, unlikely to return home. I am not sure if I am relived or sad. She is wasting away, and it is such a futile waste.

It is a complex thing, when a child becomes the parent. I feel I have parenting her and her habits, for a great many years. The guilt is immense. I am not sure why I feel guilty? Because I feel resentment too? There is a lot of frustration and the premature grief over what could have been. And the sadness.

But I do know she was amazing, in her day. Those are the memories I need to maintain.

If your mother is healthy and well, know that she is to be treasured?


post signature

36 comments:

  1. oh Lucy i am so sorry to hear about your Mum :-(

    i will agree with you completely and wholeheartedly on your point 5! as someone who works in the aged care sector as a Carer it is one of the most underpaid, overworked, undervalued sectors there is - there are people working at Maccas who get paid more than i and my colleagues - NOT that there is anything wrong with working at Maccas but as the population gets older, the aged care sector needs more workers - heck we need them NOW no matter in a few years and yet with our dismal pay and hours, it is so hard to attract good quality workers and keep them.

    i'm so glad that you have friends around you right now that are helping to hold your world up for you, that can make all the difference.

    sending love to you and your mum, be kind to yourself.

    ~x~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lucy, I'm thinking of you. I had an interesting relationship with my mother and then ended up needing to care for her, make decisions and advocate while caring for my own family. It's tough. I'm sorry that you have to do this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry hear about your mother, Lucy. It must be so tough. I know how lucky I am to have my mother healthy and well. The photo you posted of your mother is lovely! Sending you positive vibes during this difficult time. Aren't good friends such the blessing?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Lucy. Darling Lucy. I am so very sorry. Sending you love and letting you know I am here if you need to talk x

    ReplyDelete
  5. *hugs you tight and hides the wine*
    xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sorry to hear about your Mum Lucy. She really was a beauty, you probably get sick of being told that you look like her.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh darling Lucy, I'm so sorry to hear that your mum is worse. Thinking of you even more than usual. Your a wonderful daughter and your love for all your family is evident in every word you write. You know how much I love my Mum and her health worries me daily. I also know some of the complexities of the relationship you have as I have similar with my Dad. Is there is anything at all I can do...baking, dropping off reading material? Much love! Xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh honey! I am sending you virtual hugs. That just sucks. Feel what you feel. There are no rules. Feel me taking a small part of the burden from you x

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh Lucy, sending you love and comfort. Take care of your people and yourself, we'll be here when you need us. xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. When I first saw this photo Lucy I thought it was you and then realized it and old photo. You and your mother look quite similar. She's stunning.

    Thinking of you darling. xx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Lucy - so sorry to hear about wha you are having to deal with a this time. Thinking of you and sending lots of positive energy for you to be able to deal with what you have to.
    Love, hugs and positive energy.
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh Lucy, you darling girl. I really feel for you, having to go through similar times with my Dad in recent months.

    I'm keeping you and your darling mum in my thoughts and prayers.

    And please take care of you in the midst of it all, if you possibly can - I know only too well how terribly draining and distressing it is to watch your parent fade away in front of your eyes. Sending you a huge ♥ tonight. J x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Big hugs Lucy, the pic of your Mum is beautiful, so glad you have support at this difficult time xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. So very sad to read this, Lucy. I'm gonna make a batch of Lucy's Mum's Slice tomorrow and send her love and yumminess.

    You look so much like her!

    I'm glad you have so much support around you. You are much loved.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  15. This sounds very familiar.
    Too familiar.
    Wishing you all the strength you need right now.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ah, Sister L, so sorry for your pain. Hugs to you and your mum.x

    ReplyDelete
  17. It must be such an incredibly hard time for you and your family. Wishing you lots of love and strength to help get you through. Make sure you take some time for yourself. Xox

    ReplyDelete
  18. Much love to you Lucy. I am so very sorry xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh Lucy, I'm so sorry things have been so tough! I'm sad about your mum. Leaving you some love here xxxxxx.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thinking of you as always. Your Mum is so blessed to have such a beautiful, kind, caring and loyal daughter. My relationship with my own is very complex, it's not an easy path. x

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm sorry to hear about your mum. That is such a gorgeous photo of her. Thinking of you during this tough time. x

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am psychic and may be able to aid you if that is what you wish. All is meant, Know that much.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I hear you...the guilt, the resentment, the responisibility, the worry. You are blessed with good friends, beautiful children and an amazing husband. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My heart goes out to you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My mum is just about to turn 65 and she is reasonably fit and healthy. I'm so thankful for her. I couldn't imagine what it must be like for you. I don't know how words can be enough, but it's good that you have people around you who are providing practical and emotional support at this very hard time. x

    ReplyDelete
  26. My mum is just about to turn 65 and she is reasonably fit and healthy. I'm so thankful for her. I couldn't imagine what it must be like for you. I don't know how words can be enough, but it's good that you have people around you who are providing practical and emotional support at this very hard time. x

    ReplyDelete
  27. She is so beautiful and i agree resembles you so much. I also have a mum that WAS amazing but is struggling so much now. It's hard and I feel every bit as you describe even though the circumstances may be different (?). I'm sure your points 2, 7 and 10 brings you so much comfort and I'm thinking of you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  28. my prayers are with you and your family. sending hugs through the computer

    ReplyDelete
  29. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Love to you. yr mum and all your family. I went through this last year with my mother in law.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh Lucy, thoughts are with you during this incredibly tough time.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Funny being away and busy with christmas etc I have not checked your blog for sometime but today I did and now I know why so that I can be thinking of you and to let my Mum know....so sorry to hear this and you and Aunty Lis are in my thoughts and prayers...lots of Love Fiona xxx

    ReplyDelete
  33. You have been in my thoughts since I read your post in my mailbox yesterday. Take Care, Chin Up and know I am thinking beautiful thoughts for all of you. Cheers SpecialK XoXo

    ReplyDelete
  34. Even though I don't really know you, I am so verry sorry to read about your mum. My dad passed away 2 years ago and I watched him fade away in palliative care. It's so stressful and there can be so much time to think. I am sending you good thoughts. Marianne

    ReplyDelete
  35. Most with the companies offer flexible payment options and discreet services payday loan washington payday cash
    advance and it really is popular, because this type of lending have not less advantages than ordering a pizza, shoes and home appliances.

    ReplyDelete

I am a comment addict. Thank you so much for your words...xx