Wednesday, 2 November 2011

The weight is over...

Please welcome Kristyn. She sent me through this guest post, and of course it appealed to me, and I sense it will ring some bells with many of you too...

The weight is over...

It’s a bit daunting writing this post for Lucy’s blog after I haven’t contacted her in months. Deliberately. Why? Because I was embarrassed that I didn’t stick to what I told her I was going to do. It’s not like she was hounding me about it. I was just embarrassed.

A couple of months ago, I wanted to put my weight back on track. But I failed miserably. Instead I put another five kilos to what is already the excess weight the size of a toddler (yep, that’s literally). I felt like I was eating myself to my grave, down and depressed.

Two months ago, hubby signed me up to this seminar that I didn’t want to go to. But one of the things he mentioned, which pushed me a bit to try it out, was that I was supposedly going to find the reason why I’m doing what I’m doing to my body. I went and figured out some things about my life that I wanted to fix.

But the tools I got from the seminar didn’t translate to fixing myself physically. Again, I was disappointed. I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a slump.

Until one day.

Hubby went to that seminar too and has taken the advanced leadership training sessions. He came home one night and addressed the elephant in the room for the last eight years – my steady weight gain.

I reacted with fury, running to the kitchen, screaming at him for bringing it up. I was so surprised by my reaction and it was obvious how distressing it was for me. In the past, he would have backed off and dropped the topic. But this time he didn’t. He prodded, gently and lovingly, until I broke down crying – sobbing in his arms like a little child. I had a breakthrough.

After we placed MiniMe to bed, we sat on the couch facing each other, talking for hours about my weight gain. We spoke honestly and openly. And he waited for me to dig into myself and find out the reasons why I comfort eat or eat too much. We spoke about why two years ago I decided to stop my efforts even after I’ve already lost 10 kilos.

I told him I felt I was missing out on our party. You see, we used to drink. A lot. We could finish two bottles of wine and a bottle of bourbon in one night together. That was our weekend party, and although it has slowed down a bit to only half a bottle of bourbon or so, it still kept going. When I decided to get fitter two years ago after my mum had a stroke, I felt left out. He was still drinking merrily during weekdays and weekends while I stuck to my healthy choices. Eventually, four months after, I decided to join him in his world again. I didn’t feel supported because we had different lifestyles and so instead of pulling him into my world, I joined his.

He apologised for this because he didn’t know. I didn’t know either until we talked about it. The last two months, hubby has stopped drinking. We have no wines in our house, no bottle of bourbon, for the first time in eight years. He has started walking to the train station and has lost weight that he now fits into his old expensive suit (he’s one of those people who loses weight fast, damn bastard).

For the first time in a long time I feel like we’re on the same page about our health. Something clicked inside me but I can’t quite get a grasp of what it is. All I know is I’m noticing a difference. When we’re stressed (and believe me, we’ve been bombarded with major problems the last couple of weeks) we don’t grab for the bottle anymore.

For the last two weeks, I’ve gone to the gym three times each week, targeting to go for four days. In the past I’ve succumbed to comfort eating, now I’ve noticed myself grabbing for the bottle of water instead. I realised my reaction to put something in my mouth was triggered by stress (when I’m on deadline and scrambling to finish something), sadness, or anxiety. When I feel the need for sweets (I haven’t figured out a cure for sweet tooth yet), I’ve switched from chocolates, Tim Tams, and Wagon Wheels to fruits and nuts mix (loving the Lucky snack tub). I’ve switched from eating on a big plate to using my child’s bowls, limiting my intake. I’ve weighed myself and I have lost three of the five kilos I’ve added to my baggage. It’s a slow process but for the first time I’m confident it’s sticking.

I don’t claim to have the answer for it. I don’t know exactly what happened to me. All I know is that it seems to be working for me. For us. I still have a long way to go but I firmly believe that if we stay on this path, we’d get there together.

MummyK is a freelance journalist/photographer who just released her first ever self-published children’s book. She is a TV addict and loves zombie movies. She’s mum to one little girl and two dogs, and wife to an IT consultant/muso. She blogs at and tweets as @themummyk.

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  1. Thanks for the honesty MummyK.
    I know i eat the wrong foods when i'm anxious or upset - thats how i originally stacked on a bit of weight as a teenager, eating piles of peanut butter on toast in the afternoons to keep the depression at bay til bedtime.
    Even now, i know if i'm upset or worried or have had tiff with my fiance i, for some reason, feel the compulsion to have takeaway for lunch.... to make feel better.
    Doesnt make much sense, but i'm working on it...

  2. Thanks for sharing MummyK. Your honesty is very powerful.

  3. Love this post. I can really identify with everything.

    I also did the Landmark forum a few years ago. I didn't get a *stars* experience out of it but I can see the amazing things it's done in the lives of others.

    Good luck for the rest of your weightloss journey!

  4. Thanks guys!! It's been good so far, just had a moment of pause from the gym cause the entire family got sick. But back to normal now.

  5. Oh hon. I CAN identify! Although my husband has no addictive vices (well... except his sweet tooth) and doesn't exercise. This is where I felt unsupported in my attempts to regain my health again. And like your hubby, mine was oblivious to that need to feel supported. One thing I have to say is that exercising at home (those workouts on my Wii are haaaard!! Fitness Coach it's called) has encouraged my daughter to see first hand the effort I put in changes my body and improves ... everything. She joins me now and even puts on her little running shoes! Bless.

    Good on you, I am SO very pleased. And I get it: the thing that clicked. It's indefinable. But when it's time, it just does (click). Thank you so much for guest posting. And thanks to Lucy too, the deep dear heart that she is xo

  6. I wish you the best ~ I really enjoyed reading your story, and isn't it the truth about weight loss and men? It's just so annoying, but it seems also to be an inspiration for you, and what a blessing to have his support! Good luck!

  7. Hello Mummy K, I think your story will resonate with so many mums out there. The bit that whacked me smack between the eyes was: ' I didn’t know either until we talked about it. '

    I'm just like that, I work things out by talking. Lots of mums I know are talking about our health and our weight and how we are heading into middle age or menopause.

    Anyway, I have been lucky to have a hubby who is much healthier than me, and very slender. If he'd have been an overeater too... or a heavy drinker... would have been a disaster for me. Good on your hubby for making changes, great for all the family.

  8. Thanks for all the support ladies! I'll be updating you about this soon :)

  9. A very brave, honest and touching post. I'm sure that your journey will continue in the right direction. Best. x

  10. Hi Mummy K,

    I'm glad to see you have found triggers and trying to work them out, congratulations on the weight loss too!!I personally need to lose 65kgs to get to my 'ideal' weight and i lost 7 kgs in total by july this year and then i did the same thing as you, my fiance doesnt really need to lose weight, my mum and dad (who i still live with) drink every night and although i cant drink cos of the meds im on it still sucks that people close to me don't want to help me achieve my goals.

    Congratulations Mummy K and keep up the fantastic work!!!!!

  11. Decide how much weight you need to lose - Most people start their weight loss journey by claiming to be xyz kilos overweight. This isn't a healthy way to project or aim for weight loss. Calculate your desired weight against your height by using reliable methods like the BMI, and set a healthy weight loss target. This is often half the battle won.


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