Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Instant gratification versus the waistline


Today I have one of my very favourite blogging buddies here for a visit. She is a clever clever blogger and enchants all of her readers with her style and conversation. Despite having "known" one another for a few years via blogging; despite sending one another gifts as well as virtual love and support, we have never met. No matter - I feel that I know her well - which is utterly delightful.

So please welcome my friend Maxabella, who is guest posting for me today. I sense she will be right at home here...


Image by Tim Coulson

So, I’ve been on a diet for about 22 years now... maybe even longer, although I barely count the angst ridden teens when skipping lunch made me feel self-righteous enough to eat two dinners.

Anyway.

Twenty two years is a long time to be doing anything, let alone something you’re clearly not very good at. It’s certainly true that I have not been traditionally successful at weight loss, but my Twenty Two Year Diet (snappy book title, right?) has at least been successful at keeping me marginally smaller than a house. So, that’s got to count for something, right?

I like to think I’ve learned something along the way. Something more interesting than ‘If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got‘ (so true) and ‘No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch’ (probably true) and ‘nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels’ (so not true).

I’ve learned that my struggle is with delaying gratification, not with being fat.

I’ve learned that my struggle is with denial, not with being fat.

I’ve learned that my struggle is with rebellion, not with being fat.

I guess my (very big) bottom line is that somewhere deep inside me I don’t really mind being ‘the big girl’. I’ve always wanted to believe that you can still be attractive, healthy and important, even if you’re bigger. You can do everything you need to do and be anything you want to be. You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to spend your whole life wishing you were different.

I guess I’ve learned that I don’t want it to matter. I don’t want to spend the next 22 years wishing I was different; I want to be healthy and be okay, just as I am. I’m just not sure how I’m going to do that...


Maxabella loves her three kiddos with all her might, especially as they have provided her with a fantastic excuse for being fat. "Oh, I just packed on the weight after having three children in four years" she says earnestly to sympathetic nods and murmers. She mentions neither the fact that she was perfectly capable of packing on the weight prior to having children nor the fact that her youngest is now three and a half. Last week she had a dream that she told someone she was still trying to lose the baby weight. "Oh, how old is your baby," they asked. "Twenty seven," Maxabella replied.

11 comments:

  1. I have the same issues. I want to love myself just as I am, even though I happen to have an unhealthy relationship with food and know I'd feel so much better if I lost the extra weight. Can one be healthy and still 'come as you are'?
    Great post Maxabella.

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  2. Great post, Bron - I've spent my life thinking I'm fat, could be thinner, need to work on that more. I'm a size 10. Logically, I know that's not big. Emotionally - not so much. I guess no matter what size we are many of us have insecurities about it.

    Let's make a deal to try to be happy with ourselves and see a better image in the mirror - no matter what size or shape we are. x

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  3. So true, just starting to love myself, the way I am, this is me!!

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  4. The head versus the body, I can so relate. It's hard work, it so is. Thanks for this post and being so honest.

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  5. I agree 100% with this. I would love to be able to be happy with myself as long as I am trying to be healthy. The problem is, the world won't let us be happy with ourselves.

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  6. I've learned that the struggle is with rebellion... yeah, that's me all over.

    I'm like Megan, I see myself as hippy, and with bug thighs. I'm a size 8-10. I always have been. I'm hard and self critical, and can justify most anything to myself when it comes to food.

    You're right, we should be happy being who we are, I can wish all I want, but I have to be happy with who I am bottom line.

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  7. Love this! Agree with this. I like you Maxabella.

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  8. Great post skinny m'link! I never dieted until I was 25. I was the sporty one. I was never skinny but I was healthy and athletic. And then all of a sudden I wasn't. I have been on a yo-yo ever since. Never too fat but never in my healthy weight range either. I am either on a diet or I am off in a major way. I need to learn to either accept myself (jodpur thighs and all) or get on the diet train all the way to skinny street and be done with it. x

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  9. A Bink, you do make me laugh. I'd snap up that book if you put it out.

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  10. As always, you've got it so correct. It is a head battle not a fat battle. I want a copy of your book too! I could probably contribute a chapter-my diet's 23 years old this year.

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  11. Love it. I read recently that "Curves Are Back". Well, actually, they've always been there looking at me, whenever I look into the mirror.

    I think it's good not to be known as being 'fat' or 'thin'. Just 'right'.

    And let's hope what goes on in our head agrees. Love how you keep it real Bron, and thanks Lucy for having such a great guest postie!

    xx

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I am a comment addict. Thank you so much for your words...xx