Wednesday, 31 August 2011

The Wedding Dress

I have a guest post from Madam Bipolar today. If you are not already following her blog, you should. She writes amazingly.

It was love at first sight.

I had to have the dress.

It would be my wedding dress.

The dress. The One.

I had been thinking about her since I was five years old.

One day, I took Leah to see the dress and she cried tears of joy. My friends Mon and Kayte loved it, too.

This dress was the first one I had tried on, so you could say it was love at first sight.

It was a long, beaded sheath in the most elegant shade of white. The beads picked up the light and were perfect for a dusk wedding in March.

I still have a sample of the beads in a photo album at home. They are still perfect.

I bought the dress on my lunchbreak, by myself, just weeks after we became engaged.

It was duly placed on lay-buy and I made regular payments towards my dream.

As perfect as it was there was just one thing missing, a wrap for my arms because it gets cold in March.

I found the perfect item in, of all places, a hippie store in Byron Bay.

Paid for, wrapped and bagged, it was all mine.

Three months before my wedding I had the outfit ready to go. It hung in a one-of-a-kind garment bag and was the subject of much oohing and ahhing.

I would often sneak inside my wardrobe and have a peak. She was beyond beautiful and the wrap was her perfect match.

Even though the dress is almost 10 years old, I still long for her.

She now belongs to another.

I sent it to America to Brides Against Breast Cancer, an organisation which resells wedding gowns to raise money for breast cancer.

In 2004, I packed the dress up lovingly to be prepared for its new home. This dress and I had been on one long ride together.

I still love her, even though I never wore her.

While the dress fit, the groom did not.

She never got out of her garment bag.

If you would like an update on Madam Bipolar's love life and marriage state, just go here:

Never Enough
I am enough for him

Madam Bipolar
Living with and supporting others with bipolar disorder. Bipolar resources and bipolar advocacy.
Twitter: @SawHole

Madam Bipolar


  1. ah! if it makes you feel any better, i too did not get to wear my wedding dress :( i married someone my family was against at that point, and hence no was more like a registered marriage which strangers attended to's the write up if you fancy reading,

  2. So hard to get a perfect fit on both accounts.
    But what a great charity to support. My wedding dress lives at the bottom of my ironing basket. The beautiful lady who made it died last year of cancer. I don't know what to do with the dress, though it's nice to still have a reminder of my talented friend who sewed it for me from scratch.

  3. What a fabulous charity idea.
    I will ponder it for many moons and see if I can let go of The Dress.
    The Deb dress, however, is so traditionally 80's meringue, that it comes in most useful for costumes of Fairy Godmothers.
    You are so brave, to not let the need to wear the dress influence you to go through the wedding to an unsuitable Groom.

  4. Forgot to add a link to the picture:
    Thank you for those lovely comments.. Mwha!
    I think I should add I did get married to the right man, in another perfect dress. This time the groom fit.

  5. That IS a nice elegant dress. It is so cool of you to donate it. Such kindness.

    I admire your strength, too, to not walk down the isle when you knew 'the groom didn't fit'. I know a couple of girls who felt pressured by the timing, the possible embarrassing aftermath, etc. and went through it anyway, only to live in regret, sadness and anger thereafter. Very tragic.

  6. That's a beautiful dress, and I'm sorry you never got to wear it. What a wonderful charity, I'd not heard of it. I wonder if I should do that with mine. It has been hanging in my closet in it's original bag for 14 years now, and I don't have a daughter to pass it on to.

    I'm glad there's an updated story. Off to read that now. xxxx Nice to see you guest blogging. Great gig!

  7. Goosebumps! What a wonderful idea, to donate it to a charity like that.

    I had a groom that didn't fit, yet went ahead and married him anyway. I was young and silly, and everyone convinced me it was just 'the jitters'. I should have listened to myself.

  8. The text is so exciting I omitted part about guest post LOL and was little surprised for a moment.
    Really amazing writing. Story. And the heart!
    Thanks for recommendation, Lucy.

  9. The dress sounds lovely, it's second life sounds lovelier. A beautiful post. Captivating until the end.

  10. Great Post! I completely understand! I too, bought the perfect white dress and yet it still sits in it's garment bag wondering if it'll ever attend any special occasion. However, once it became 'my dress' the realism of the relationship scared me and I called off our engagement. Several years later I was in the 'wedding planning' mode with the same person. I decided to do everything different. I even bought a totally different dress - ivory vintage lace. :) I am married now, LOVED my vintage dress, but I often wonder, who will where the beautiful white gown that I once chose to be my dress... and when will it finally be worn? Like most wedding gowns - it's timeless, so I am in no rush to give it away, however, I have to say I am inspired by this post to donate it. :)

    I just began to follow your blog - follow mine!

    I see you have giveaways too - how fun!! :)

    Happy Blogging!


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  12. My wife and I got married in a frenzy. We dated for 3 weeks prior to marraige.

    She did not have a wedding dress and the marriage was 50 dollars. We lied and said that we were living together to bypass the wait. We got married in a place called "We do weddings" 23 years ago.

    I do not know if we missed something in our whirlwind. I know a lot of people place amazing importance on a dress. From the perspective of a man, I adore white dresses and a summer light.

  13. This dress is so pretty and my idea of a wedding dress. I love to watch "Say Yes to the Dress" but I have noticed that all wedding dresses now seem to be strapless. Whatever happened to choice? Strapless is nice but not for everybody. Am I out to lunch on or has anyone else noticed this?

  14. Great dress and a good cause. I am with Nancy who doesn't like strapless. I second her call for more choice. My wedding dress is in a box, all tissue-wrapped. I haven't wanted to part with it, but maybe I will do for a good cause.

  15. Amazing post - i was so not expecting you to NOT marry him in the end - what a brave thing to do (or not do for that matter). Glad to hear you found the right man in the end.

    My mother sent out my veil a couple of years ago and my girls use it for dress up all the time. I am not sentimental about my dress and let it go many years ago (even with 2 daughters i imagined they would want to pick something new for themselves so why hold onto it). I do love looking at my old photos though!

  16. Thanks again everyone for your absolutely beautiful comments. It was an honour to share my story.


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