Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Man Flu - The Facts


Man Flu - The Facts...




1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.

*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rain forest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than all The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

Does your bloke suffer Man Flu? Do YOU inflict Man-Flu-Neglect?

This post is totally inspired by an email sent to me by my husband....

24 comments:

  1. Oh so funny!!! So True!!!

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  2. Haha, i love it Lucy!! We had a serious case of Man Flu in our house this weekend. By Sunday afternoon my husband was seriously trying my patience :)

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  3. Ha ha.... what a cack!

    My man actually suffers the opposite of Man Flu -- " Nah-I'm-Fine-Itis ", lets call it. This where he really is ill, whether with flu or vomiting or what have you, but insists he is ok and soldiers on until the point of near collapse. Kind of like " I'm a man - i dont get sick! "... just as annoying, because inevitably i get sick because he spreads his germs around everywhere!

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  4. oh Lucy I agree! Our little home was inflicted with a really baaadddd case last week. He was laid up in bed for a good few days...sigh!

    xoxox

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  5. The husband has been hacking up phlegm all night, which is quite possibly the most revolting sound in the whole universe. And because he's a lazy SOB he has a 'spit' cup next to the bed.

    * shudders *

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  6. Hey! I don't get man-flu! I'm too tough for that.

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  7. Lucy, this is fabulous. Sending the link to my hubby and all my male friends!

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  8. This is hilarious because it is sooooo true. Great post Lucy, love it :)

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  9. Baaaahaha. Nice. The cartoon was cute, but your post was awesome!

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  10. hahahaha
    A male friend of ours went to his GP last week and had MAN-FLU reorded in his health file!!!!! The GP was male.....
    Our friend felt vindicated that it is an actual disease.
    Enough said.

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  11. That is funny! Feeling glad there is no sign of Man Flu in our house!!! Have a great week. Emma.

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  12. Yep, I neglect man flu too. So funny how when they are well they say "I never get sick". What a great post!

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  13. Brilliance! I love you & your hubs though not man-flu which does indeed come along with groans at our house....somehow the Bebito already has wiffs of man-flu via when he's mildly unwell with the sniffles he groans & says, "oh mama, I'm REALLY sick". How am I going to cope with 3 boys in my house? ;)

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  14. Men are the worst patients ever! You would think they were on their death bed.
    Although Hubby did have the Swine Flu a couple of years ago and I knew it was serious as he didn't whinge, groan or moan at all. Just curled up on the couch, poor petal.

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  15. That's so funny....and so very true.

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  16. Hahahahahah!!!!!! We've had it here recently - if only i known these things then. Bawhahahah!!

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  17. *wipes tear - that is hilarious and *frowns very serious.
    Husband sick: in bed all day.
    Wife sick: on couch in between chores and sitting up occasionally to reassure Husband that yes, he is doing a good job caring for her.
    *long-suffering sigh... ;)

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  18. Hahahaha I will admit, I am the biggest BITCH when Man-flu hits this household. Zero sympathy!

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  19. Love this post! My Hubby is like Amy's - "nothing wrong with me..." as he hobbled around the house after knee surgery...aaaargh!!! drove me crazy! First time he cut himself working on a car, he proceeded to inform me that he did not get infections, like the rest of us mere mortals...go figure ;)...don't know what I'd rather...

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  20. That is hilarious!

    My husband doesn't really get man-flu (thank god). He just suffers permanently from patheticness!

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  21. Bah ha ha!! Oh it's so true...

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  22. So funny!! Lady medicine like Lemsip... baahahaha.

    I'm so intolerant of this condition. I admit, I'm a callous, insensitive, cold heart.

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  23. this is very funny.I just love this.so ....
    sneezing facts

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