Wednesday, 22 June 2011

How (not) to be classy...

You have heard me rant before about school parking issues. Nothing changes. No improvement. If anything, it gets worse, as you may gather from the detail of the "classy" activities witnessed below.

Now, apparently, the "classy" parents around school are upping the anti. Not content with a car park and an adjoining coffee shop, they want to create a different kind of impression.




So, after watching this unfold at school this week,  I give you a run down of how to be a classy parent -

1. Run a little bit late for school. Blame your children.

2. Drive slightly erratically at 60km in a 40km zone.

3. Slow down a little, maybe, as you approach the school crossing. Or don't bother to slow down - apparently this is optional.

4. Don't worry about indicating, this is optional as well, when you pull into a  cul-de-sac to turn around.

5. You could use the cul-de-sac to do a full turn, or you could just turn in the roadway, holding up all of the traffic. Yeah, good plan, hold up all the traffic.

6. This has the added benefit of blocking sight of the oncoming traffic from all children and parents who are trying to cross to the school gate.

7. If anyone dares look at you the wrong way for this, do not hesitate in giving them the finger. Honestly, they will be so appalled it is laughable, and it will give them a giggle. Go the finger. It's all class.

8. As you wait to turn around, light a cigarette. It will kill a few minutes. Oh, you have children in the back of the car?


Apparently this doesn't matter. One of the children is young enough to still be in a booster seat? No matter, light up anyway. 





9. When you finally pull into the kiss and drop zone, get out (still with fag in hand, obviously) to get the kids school bags out of the boot. Let the kids out but don't bother to kiss them goodbye. Watch them run away off into school.

10. When a concerned parent loudly wonders whether it is indeed against the law in SA to smoke in cars carrying children, give them a hair flick, straighten your puffa jacket, hop back into your four wheel drive that has never been off road in its life (but sees plenty of filth from the fags on the inside), and drive away, again, at 60km, despite the fact that its a 40km zone.

And finally, congratulate yourself that you are the classiest parent ever. Not.


You disgust me.


29 comments:

  1. This is great, and oh so true. I live in an area where there are LOTS of these parents around. Often without the fags, but definitely with the puffer vests and 4WD's xxx

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  2. The horrible people, the horrible people!

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  3. Some people should not be allowed to have children. Or in fact, be anywhere near them.

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  4. Woah, what a nightmare!

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  5. Revolting. The parents at our school are generally pretty well behaved but the road down to the school is long and straight and people often speed down it. It looks like you can see all the way down but because there are lots of trees visibility isn't great. I had a whinge to the local cops and they put a person with a radar on the street at pick-up time. Bless them.
    Maybe your police could help out Luckily there is nothing they can do about puffer jackets. I love mine - it is down and comes to my calves and even in sub-zero temperatures it keeps me toasty. I love my SUV too :p

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  6. I think you just described a lot of the mums at my sons school!

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  7. Are these photos of actual Mums at your school?
    Wow, puffer vests have a bad wrap don't they? I adore mine but I don't drive a 4wd nor have I ever smoked.
    I would seriously call the police to witness all of this (road infringements at least). We have them regularly at one of my daughter's school. Works a treat.
    Do you have lollipop ladies/men to walk across school crossing? In WA they are part of the police domain so they can ask for police to check things out too.

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  8. Oh, goody. More delights await next year. As if the 4yo kinder year hasn't been entertaining enough.

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  9. They still do it in high school. I love how parents use the Teacher Carpark to drop off the kids. It is clearly signed staff only! Bus bays are not for parking either - that bothers me too. I drive through 3 school zones on my way to work and see everything you are saying. They have started putting up fencing so that you can only use the official crossing areas at the local primary schools.
    Parents who don't give two hoots about their children or education really bug me. I love the phone calls home to the parents who say "What do you want me to do about them not working? I can't get them to do anything." Then they are the first to complain when their child fails. WTF? Loser Parents. You should need a licence to breed! Can you tell I need school holidays?

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  10. Puffer vests..lol!! That could describe so many cars and parents that I see. I don't get the bags in the boot thing. Why can't school bags go at the feet or next to the children? Is there some parenting secret that I don't know about?

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  11. All class!!! Next time ram them with your car lucy!!! That's class x

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  12. re bags in the boot..... I try to put everything in the boot because in an accident having loose objects flying around the car can cause nasty injuries. I use a seat-belt for the cat's box on the way to the vet in case of accidents and tie the dog to the seat so I don't get a canine in the face if someone t-bones my car.
    I used to laugh at my Mum because she must have been one of the first people to buy a booster seat long before they were the law but now I'm turning into her :o

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  13. So true. In NZ, police would turn up randomly at least 6 times a week (three in the morning, three in the afternoon.) Sometimes it was only 10 minutes at a time, but it was enough to teach some parents (and driversby) lessons. Wish they could do that here.

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  14. Same thing around our school. Parents making a U-turn on a driveway that is on running on the same road as the school. Oh and doesn't matter that other children are walking up the footpath, YOUR children are obviously more important. We've had a teacher's car being backed into on the driver's side while being parked on the same road. And the same teacher's car who's side mirror had been swiped off. But, nobody has owned up to it. One parent say it could be the P platers...I'm thinking it's not. It's most definitely a parent, making a U-Turn where they shouldn't, when it's busy with other cars trying to park legally.
    I'm just wondering what kind of example they are showing their own kids. Really.

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  15. Oh i am so glad i don't have to deal with that yet, i don't think i would be able to contain myself!!

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  16. I'm really not looking forward to this when my kids start school. I'm hoping this person is an exception.
    Nice rant! You're quite scary when you want to be ;)

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  17. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! So you saw me then? xxx

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  18. I am aghast! I haven't witnessed such behaviour from my side of the outskirts of the Hills District in Sydney. This could possibly be because I am one of the first to arrive, take so long to get all kids out of the car, chat for too long then I am the last to drive away.

    Those 'scrag' style mothers are revolting! How come you have to put up with them?

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  19. ha ha! I love it went you let fly Lucy. You do it so well. Are you sure you were talking about SA? I could have sworn it was the ACT. Same story, different Barbie.

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  20. love it!

    Not the actions of the parent, but your post.

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  21. Oh dear! Feel grateful that your children have you for a Mum and not that classy Mama! Scary stuff huh? x

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  22. Living at the school crossing I bear witness to mostly good behaviour but occasionally see exactly what you describe. These are the same cretins who will blast me for daring to enter or leave my driveway at school pick up time. Nice.

    However what disgusts me more is witnessing certain individuals drop their primary aged children off at 7:30 am in the morning when the yard bell (ie when supervison starts) doesn't go until 8:25 am.

    Got to skimp on the Before school care fees to pay for those fags...

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  23. You can't buy class. You can't teach class. Oh dear.

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  24. Oh my goodness, it looks like I have much to look forward too :)

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  25. So true! My other personal favourite is the parent who just stops in the middle of the road and deposits their children at the front gate while everyone else waits.

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  26. Thank God I can walk Nugget to school. No parental encounters for me! Thanks for Rewinding. I enjoyed reading this again. x

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  27. Love it when you get your rant on!

    Visiting via the Rewind.

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