Popped my cherry...

For a few years now, my husband has been nagging me about trying something new. Something a little risqué.  Something a little more adventurous. Less of the vanilla.

He has wanted me to try online grocery shopping.

For the past few years I have been working at home around the children, and I have had plenty of time and inclination to shop savvy. I even wrote about my savvy food shopping habits last year.

But, now that I have thrown fairly intense part time work into our new normal, there are a few things that have to give - and one of those is my old method of food shopping.

So, I have bitten the bullet, and popped my online grocery shopping cherry. It was time.

I was forewarned that my first time would not be pretty. No fireworks, and a kind of awkward clunkiness. It would be laboured and a little painful. I would feel self conscious and maybe even a little frustrated.

I did worry, at first. Was I doing it right? Would I regret it in the morning? Would it cost me my canny reputation?

After the first time, I was torn. It felt odd. And I kind of hankered for my usual routine of a more innocent time along the aisles.

But from all my friends who are going at it hammer and tongs regularly, I suspected it would get better - more exciting. I yearned for it to get exciting.

And it did. The very next time, I felt the bliss. The anticipation was crackling and I knew it was going to be good.

It was smooth. Instinctive. Easy. Exciting. Confident.

It felt great. It felt good. It felt right.

The climax to it all, for me, is the final stage. The delivery. Through my entrance, thrust purposely onto my kitchen table. Abundance.  No hand splitting pain from carrier bags, dragging dead weight down the steps from the car. The delivery person did all that for me.

I revel in the aftermath of the shop. The gentle music on in the background, the pottering around my kitchen, putting all the groceries away. The arranging of a sensational fruit bowl. The stashing into Tupperware.

I have done it again over the past few days. Goddess, it was good. Getting better every time. Cannot wait to do it again....

• No driving in a hot car to the supermarket.
• No hour spent trolleying around the aisles.
• No impulse (usually fat arse) purchases.
• No queuing to unload it all onto the checkout.
• No need to realise "Shit, I forgot my enviro bags, again..."
• No requirement to make excruciating small talk to the checkout lady.
• No hauling it all back into the trolley.
• No humping it into the back of my car.
• No messing about with returning of a runnaway trolley.
• No three separate trips to drag it out of the car, down the drive, through the house and into the kitchen.

From start to finish? How long do I take to indulge?

From sitting down at my computer to place the order, to receiving it all and putting it all away?

A total of 27 minutes.

That is all. 27 minutes.

I am in total loved up bliss......