Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Clean sheets and cut fruit....

There are so many mornings when I am appallingly cranky.

I bark orders at my children, I try and project manage my husband, I get irritated with the dog, and I have a bad habit of swearing into the fridge.



All in an attempt to get the five of us out of the house, to our respective endeavors, on time, dressed, and fed, with hair brushed, and a semblance of order.

Sometimes the cranky explodes in the car and my poor children get it. I rant and rave, and they are locked in, unable to escape, listening to a very turgid monologue from me. I know it's boring. I can see them raise their eyes at one another, as if to say "here she goes again." I know it's boring. I bore myself, to be honest.

And then the guilt plays out all day.

All. Day.

I feel bad. Guilty, sorry, regretful and mean. All day, until I can pick them up from school and kindy and cuddle them and laugh with them and tell them I am sorry for being a grumpy Mummy. Again.

On days like these, when they are away from me, and I am by myself, at work and at play, I realise that I make it up to them, always, when I pick them up, full of regret.

But also that I have assuaged my guilt a little through the day by the doing of stuff, for them.

Clean sheets and cut fruit.



If I have a mass of beautiful cut fruit waiting for them, chilled for the afternoon tea, I feel better. Less sorry. More loving.

If I have stripped all their beds and made the land of slumber all clean and fresh for them, lavender spray and all, I feel like I have made amends, even before they are back home.

Clean sheets and cut fruit. These little things that remind me of how much I love them all.

I hope these actions remind them too.

Tell me? Please admit to me that you are cranky at times too?

What do you do to make amends? To make them feel better? To say sorry?

Please share?


38 comments:

  1. Ms_MotorbikeNutFebruary 16, 2011

    Yes I get cranky as well at times. I just go up to my husband wrap my arms around him & say sorry then give him a kiss works a treat on him

    (((( Hugs )))) XXXX Kisses XXXX

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  2. During my teen years whenever my mum and I had a fight I'd always come home to a spotless room. It was her unspoken way of saying sorry. I tend to bake my guilt away and make sure dinner is nothing short of spectacular and at pick up time, instead of cramming the kids in the car in haste I give them a huge cuddle.

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  3. I'm cranky and shouty a lot, although it is getting better since I quit my job. The rush in the mornings is less and I am not as stressed.

    But I still lose it when they fight and especially at bath time when they seem intent on killing each other.

    When I've been really shouty I apologise, other times I figure they'll get over it and lately I've been spending time just cuddling on the couch with them, because I've been alone all day and I don't resent having them home.

    Oh, the other day I made them cookies and changed their sheets...!

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  4. Oh, I'm cranky right now!! One of my children just put her fingers in her ears and with a cheeky smile on her face said "You can not listen to me". She got it a bit mixed up, but I knew exactly what she meant! I need someone to come over to my place and change my sheets and cut up cold fresh fruit. and pour me a massive gin xx

    Ps: hope you are a little less cranky now sweet x

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  5. Oh Yes Lucy! My 6 years old now asks me if the kids kept me up last night when i start to get titchy. We have a standard saying in our house "everyone gets grumpy sometimes" including mummy (and daddy). I've learned to apologise to the kids - just like I ask them to do for each other. Never to old to say sorry :)

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  6. Cranky? Moi? Um...yep, actually, I think it would be fair to say that I am a cranky mumma on a regular basis. And when my little tanty has run it's course, I make it up very similarly to you, Lucy - with a super-nutritious meal (cooked with a hell of of lot more attention to detail than normal!), lovely after-school and kinder snacks, a clean house, and copious amounts of looooonnngggg stories at bedtime. I suppose the hugs and kisses piled on are overkill, but nevermind. I think they know I'm sorry!!

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  7. Holly @ Good Golly Miss Holly!February 16, 2011

    Your honesty is so refreshing babe! Yes, I morph into cranky mummy and yes, I am racked with guilt afterwards. I apologise and pour that guilty into doing something with them/for them. I'd say that's just what we Mums do!

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  8. That's funny. I realise I also do looooong bedtime story sessions. And huge squeezy cuddles.

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  9. So true. They are never too young to hear it either.

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  10. Ah sweets. I am all better now. I fear I have passed it onto you. xx

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  11. I suspect that is my problem - I am working a few days a week at the moment - and that makes me happy but time pressures make me cranky....

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  12. Same. It was my mothers salve too....

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  13. Sometimes thats all we need to do, isn't it...

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  14. Acts of service Hols. They work. xx

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  15. Are you sure we're not the same person?
    I've (ashamedly) lost count of the times I've let fly in the car on the way to school in the morning.
    My way of making amends, putting their clothes away for them, and making afternoon tea, dip, crackers, cheese, cut up fruit and sitting at the table eating it with them chatting about their day.

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  16. God, I thought you were writing about me! You are not alone.................

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  17. Bless you. We can compare cranky mum diatribes soon...

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  18. Life In A Pink FibroFebruary 16, 2011

    Oh man. There must have been something in the air today. I could have written this post. My cranky pants are pulled up so high some mornings it's a wonder I don't strangle myself. And then I hate myself all day. So much wasted emotion. Sigh.

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  19. Cranky. Who me? And I don't even do the cut-up fruit thing. Just the guilt.

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  20. I apologise. That's something I never heard and wished I had. So I do it. Often. Then I let them raid the fridge before tea and stay up late.

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  21. Oh yes, guilty as charged. And I love that I am not alone in the "summary of my feelings" in the car where yes, they are trapped. BUT I always apologise before they get out at school. I couldn't bear being angry at each other all day. I do extra special afternoon tea and tidy their rooms though just to show extra sorryness.

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  22. oh i have been so cranky lately...To all three of my guys, partner included...Just can't seem to help myself and then i feel AWFUL because it really is quite undeserved...

    But it helps to read that I am not the only one....it helps a whole lot so thanks for a refreshingly honest post!

    Gill xo

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  23. Beware the Mummy Bomb! It goes off in our car often .... sad but true. Sigh. It's a world wide phenomenon this cranky Mummy syndrome. All fixed at our house with cuddles, gratitudes and I love yous.

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  24. Cranky lots. Worst thing is, a lot of the time it's just me, nothing they've particularly done other than be kids. I love your way of making it up. I'm afraid I don't try that hard. I will though. thanks xx

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  25. Oh, absolutely. Especially these past 6 months while I have been at my sickest. Extra cuddly story times. Popcorn and a movie after school, just cuddled up on the sofa.

    And when Alexander has been particularly understanding about what his Mama can't do anymore, I really get the guilts (for some reason, the better and more understanding he is about my new limitations, despite his obvious worry, the worse I feel), it's a trip to the bookstore. Nothing makes him happier than a coffee and a new book. A child after my own heart.

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  26. I also make a point, particularly with Alexander (Sammy's a bit young to grasp it) to make sure that before he gets out of that car in the morning - he gets an apology AND an explanation. Why I was cranky, especially if it wasn't him (it rarely is). I can't let him get out of the car and start his school day stressed about me being upset or angry. I get a sick feeling in my stomach. So I don't care how long we sit in the car, I make sure we're 'sorted' before he gets out. Then I smother him with kisses nad tickles and hugs.

    I have found that I have a complete INability to allow my children to fall asleep or leave my presence sad. I can't bear it. We have to have cheered up before we part.

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  27. irjmld@gmail.comFebruary 17, 2011

    Not the only cranky mummy Lucy. I try SO hard to not get cranky before school, knowing that they won't be with me all day and their last memory of me is banshee-like hollering so often I go from "I can't believe I have to tell you over and over and over NOT to do blah blah blah.....love you darling, have a beautiful day at school gorgeous boy". Hmmm...split personality much???

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  28. therhythmmethodFebruary 17, 2011

    I always say sorry for the cranky, and give cuddles. We talk a lot here, perhaps too much? I wish I could not have the cranks, but they seem to be contagious some days. Great post Lucy.

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  29. Geez that sounds like me!...the thing is, now my daughters are in their teens, guess what? they've inherited my PMS...so sometimes they bite back! LOL
    Solution here is that one of the three of us usually bursts into laughter and we all lose it, and apologise and have a big group hug as they get out at the bus stop...
    A nice afternoon tea and a "picked up" room is appreciated when they get home.
    It's teaching my girls that I'm human and not a robot without feelings.

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  30. Sure I get cranky sometimes but it's just something my family has to deal with. I don't go out of my way to "make up" for it. Maybe I should though...

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  31. London City MumFebruary 17, 2011

    I am the wetsuit queen of crankiness. I have a Phd in it. In fact, I am so fluent in the Art of Being Cranky, I was offered a course in yoga to "calm me down" by OH.

    I bit his head off.

    LCM x

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  32. Just catching up on your blog Lucy....I so needed this post today after a spectacular bogan fishwife breakdown in front of and at the kidlets this morning. Not sure how I will make amends- I've apologised and I don't want to do anything that might remind them of my mummy meltdown. The clean sheets are a moot point after a wet bed LOL.

    Anyway it is reassuring to know I'm not the only one. I just wish I could be merely a bit cranky and that my meltdowns weren't quite so full on :(

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  33. this is me right now...tired and grumpy. i tend to bake my guilt, but then i eat it. not a good sharer is I.

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  34. Dear Lucy. Normal. Oh so very very normal! I stopped trying to *not* be cranky (a.k.a. lose my shit) a couple of years ago. In my attempt to be determined not to "do it like my mother did", I kept it all in. Turns out, Doris Day style doesn't suit me...... but what I did learn, like you've shown in your post (so thank you, for validating me and affirming in that way!), is that with apology for my actions/spillage of frustration and level-headed talking it through with my child afterwards, she sees that I am human and the whole of me includes the shitty times not just the sunny fun-mum ones and also that I can admit when I've slipped up.

    An important and overlooked/denied aspect of my upbringing that I never observed in my own mother.

    Hmmm! Thanks for the weekend rewind and the unplanned mini-head-shrink sesh!

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  35. I hear you on this. I am the world's crankiest mum, I think. Some days are worse than others.

    Visiting via the Rewind.

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  36. When your cranky all the time, nobody takes you serious so I never feel guilty.


    Cranky Old Man

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  37. I love this post Lucy. It *is* all about cut fruit and clean sheets rather than moments of outburst. I get cranky a lot but I know the kids know that I love them. All the time. Thanks for linking this post to the Weekend Rewind. I am very behind visiting everyone but absolutely loving the posts this week x

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