There are so many mornings when I am appallingly cranky.
I bark orders at my children, I try and project manage my husband, I get irritated with the dog, and I have a bad habit of swearing into the fridge.
All in an attempt to get the five of us out of the house, to our respective endeavors, on time, dressed, and fed, with hair brushed, and a semblance of order.
Sometimes the cranky explodes in the car and my poor children get it. I rant and rave, and they are locked in, unable to escape, listening to a very turgid monologue from me. I know it's boring. I can see them raise their eyes at one another, as if to say "here she goes again." I know it's boring. I bore myself, to be honest.
And then the guilt plays out all day.
I feel bad. Guilty, sorry, regretful and mean. All day, until I can pick them up from school and kindy and cuddle them and laugh with them and tell them I am sorry for being a grumpy Mummy. Again.
On days like these, when they are away from me, and I am by myself, at work and at play, I realise that I make it up to them, always, when I pick them up, full of regret.
But also that I have assuaged my guilt a little through the day by the doing of stuff, for them.
Clean sheets and cut fruit.
If I have a mass of beautiful cut fruit waiting for them, chilled for the afternoon tea, I feel better. Less sorry. More loving.
If I have stripped all their beds and made the land of slumber all clean and fresh for them, lavender spray and all, I feel like I have made amends, even before they are back home.
Clean sheets and cut fruit. These little things that remind me of how much I love them all.
I hope these actions remind them too.
Tell me? Please admit to me that you are cranky at times too?
What do you do to make amends? To make them feel better? To say sorry?