Sunday, 16 January 2011

Past tense...





We shared the same name.

I cry now, as I have to write that in the past tense.

She was my friend.
             And now she is gone. And that is just so so wrong. Goddamn it Luce, I want you back here right now. 
           
             We never met. How I wish we had. How I felt like we never needed to. We had all the time in the world, didn't we?

Online. For nearly 7 years. I have shared and laughed and cried with her.



We forumed and blogged and Facebooked & twittered and emailed, together.



We agreed to differ and laughed at our variance.  They didn't matter, because the parallels were enough.



I keep going to her blog with some insane wish that the fact that she is gone is just a cruel joke and that I will see her words, her quirky funny posts, peppered with swear words and tequila and unperfect things.
She helped me with her essence of balance. She listened, and her integrity and her innate perception guided me.



Her passion, her belief, her love. They were just... always there.


             She was, quite simply, one of the most awesome chicks I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
And I cannot believe how cruel life is that she is no longer here. I miss her.



And my tears are for the babies & friends she has had to leave behind.






She was my friend.



We shared the same name.



I cry now, as I have to write that in the past tense.

44 comments:

  1. Oh Lucy..... Tears & lots of them.

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  2. sending big love to you x

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  3. Sending you love. x

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  4. I'm so sorry about the loss off your friend Lucy.
    Xx

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  5. Sorry Lucy xoxo

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  6. I'm so very sorry.

    I was only just beginning to discover Lucy and I'm saddened that I will never be able to get to know her better in the future.

    Sending you and all those who "knew" her big hugs and lots of peace - it's just incomprehensible.

    ~x~

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  7. I'm so sorry to read of your loss. Life can be so unfair sometimes.
    Sending you love and hugs.

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  8. I'm so sorry, Lucy. :( I only just met Lucy online a short time ago. My heart goes out to you and her family xx

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  9. :(

    So sorry Lucy

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  10. Hugs Lucy, I too keep stumbling back to her blog, expecting it all to be a bad dream

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  11. I'm so sorry, Lucy.... I haven't come across the other Lucy in the blogosphere and I don't know what happen, but friends, virtual or "real" are the real treasures in this life. There have been so many losses this week, I am sorry you have had such a personal one. Hugs....

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  12. Oh god, I didn't know. Oh Lucy. Just utterly speechless...

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  13. OMG. That is dreadful news. I am so sorry Lucy ...

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  14. Too much sadness this week - am so sorry to hear you have endured another loss from your world. My heart goes out to you and hope there is some peace in knowing there will always be her words to reflect on xx

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  15. Curvaceous QueenJanuary 16, 2011

    I am absolutely stunned by this news. I never "knew" Lucy but she was original inspiration to blog. The world is definitely a darker place right now :(

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  16. Susanne WestJanuary 16, 2011

    I am so sorry Lucy. I don't know what to say. I had only started reading Lucy's blog a short time ago. I am sitting here stunned. I am so sorry you never got to meet each other. Sending much love and peace to you xx

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  17. life in a pink fibroJanuary 16, 2011

    So sorry Lucy. Thinking of you. x

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  18. Sorry hon. I don't know where I have been that I didn't realise this. Take care of yourself xx

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  19. So sorry to hear about your loss Lucy. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    I hadn't seen Lucy's blog, but your post has inspired me to check it out. Hoping I might be able to help with a tiny ray of light amongst the sadness and tears.

    I have awarded you a stylish blogger award at http://thepurplenotepad.blogspot.com/ Pop on over and collect it when you can.

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  20. Holly @ Good Golly Miss Holly!January 16, 2011

    I logged onto FB today and heard the bad news :(

    I hope Lucy is safe in the loving arms of her beloved sister x

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  21. So sorry to hear that, Lucy. Take care of yourself.xx

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  22. Andrea - Reaveling the Real MeJanuary 16, 2011

    Hi Lucy, I am really confused and worried what has happened to Lulu? I knew about her sister and only commented on her last post last night. Can you please email when you are up to it? Love to you xxxx

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  23. OMG you are talking about the Lulu that has only just lost her sister! WTF is going on! I only just stumbled upon her blog and the sad news of her sister. So sorry Lucyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  24. No words from me, but this from Kahlil: "Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow." And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
    Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall. "

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  25. I just don't have the words Lucy. but I'm sending you lots of love x

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  26. MultipleMumJanuary 16, 2011

    Oh Lucy! How can that be? What the? That poor family. You poor thing. Sending hugs and hope to you x

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  27. =[ i know exactly how you feel as i have lost an online friend i never got the chance to me too.
    i think in away its harder cause your missing part of the connection.
    =[
    i hope your okay...
    These past few weeks of this year seem to be really taking its toll on the blogging community but i love that the support and love we are giving to our fellow blogger in need of it is there....
    sometimes you dont find that even when you know someone in reality.
    Smile lucy, cause lucy would have wanted you too.
    love.x.

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  28. I don't get it, I just don't get it. We talked about our boys and their ASD awesomeness, she was so full of life, how can she be gone? I am sitting here breathless, confused, crying. Because she should not be gone, she cannot be gone. Dear God, let me wake up and find it is all one horrible mistake.

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  29. WTF! Oh Lucy, I am so very very sorry :( xx

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  30. I'm really so very sorry for you loss hun! You are in my thoughts!

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  31. So. very. sorry. What is going on!?!? x

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  32. Joni LlanoraJanuary 16, 2011

    Sorry to hear that Lucy. Keep strong!

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  33. Sam @ Learn. Create. Do.January 16, 2011

    Lucy, I'm so so sorry to hear this news. Thinking of you. xx

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  34. I can't believe it. I just can't. Lulu!!

    Really what is going on!?!? x

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  35. Melissa @ Suger Coat ItJanuary 16, 2011

    I was on my phone when I read this and had to come back and tell you how sorry I am. Sorry for your loss. Sorry for her family. Gosh. I wish I had more to offer you after all you have given me in the way of hope, support and love. Just know I'm thinking of you.

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  36. I'm thinking of you Lucy, there is too much pain around. Please take care xx

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  37. No, just no. I'm so sorry Lucy. I'm so sorry xx

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  38. Lucy - I'm so sorry. This is heartbreaking. So sorry.

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  39. Stunned by this news. Literally stopped in my tracks, for I can't (or don't want to?) believe it. Not Lulu too??? Deep condolences for the loss of your friend, Lucy. xxxx

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  40. Veggie MamaJanuary 17, 2011

    I'm so sorry. Experiences like this are never easy xx

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  41. Oh Lucy, I'm so sad for your loss. xo

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  42. Missing her dearly as well. Had the pleasure of meeting her a few times, our friendship though did not really develop till after I moved away. Still kick myself for not making more of an effort to catch up with her and other BB girls when I was up in Melbourne. Damn my husband for only thinking of his wants with our trips.

    Will miss her. Hugs to you Lucy XXX

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I am a comment addict. Thank you so much for your words...xx