Thursday, 18 November 2010

Which weighs more?

Sarah, from the gorgeous blog Ah, the Possibilities, is graciously guest posting for me today. I have been lucky enough to get to know Sarah a little through the whole blogging and weight loss and writing adventure I have been on over the past year. I feel very lucky to count her as a friend.


Lucy - thanks for hosting me.




The other night my mother looked me up and down thoughtfully and said to me: “You know, I’m surprised you haven’t lost more weight by now.”

In previous years this kind of remark would have made me cry or buy a packet of TimTams which I would hide in my room to eat. But instead I walked into my bedroom to my husband and said wryly that it was no bloody wonder I had spent years with such a screwed up relationship with food.

Now my mother is not a bad person. She’s a very good person. But she is obsessed with dieting and food. Obsessed. And she passed that on to me.

So here’s my story. It’s probably an all too familiar one. Slim child growing up. Hits adolescence and over zealous mother puts them on a diet. The result? Years and years of yo-yo dieting.

I’ve done Weight Watchers, Atkins, the Pritikin Diet. I’ve been great with all of them. I’ve lost weight, hit “goal” and then just as quickly put it all back on.

Yay me!
So what changed?

Well I figured out this year that maybe it wasn’t about my self control or determination. Clearly I have both in spades given my success with weight loss.

So instead I took a deep breath and made an appointment to see a psychologist who specializes in hypnotherapy.

It’s changed everything.

The hypnotherapy has stopped me craving food or needing snacks between meals. But doing the therapy sessions in addition to the hypnotherapy has been invaluable.

For the first time I’ve examined my relationship with food. What it was that triggered my cravings, my binges and my obsessive need for control. I learned how and why I punish myself when I fail and why I’m my own worst critic.
I’ve learned to let a lot of stuff go. I’ve learned to be honest about my feelings instead of repressing them and using food to self medicate.

And yes I’ve lost several kilos.

I’m still losing weight and even though I’m under a lot of stress at the moment with renovations, living with my parents, juggling work, offspring and a husband who often has to work away I don’t reach for the chocolate anymore.

Hypnotherapy and therapy hasn’t just helped me shed the kilos, it’s helped me shed the emotional baggage I’ve been carrying, which, trust me, weighs a hell of a lot more.

14 comments:

  1. So great to hear it's all going well for you, Sarah. And I think it's important for us all to realise how much our own attitude towards food influences our children.

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  2. JourneyBeyondSurvivalNovember 18, 2010

    I love this. I need this. You are a godsend.

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  3. Posie PatchworkNovember 18, 2010

    Fascinating!! That is why i'm getting on top of my weight (always fit & slim, even after 4 children, hitting 30 though has found me put weight on, so now at 35 i'm getting serious about getting back into shape) SO i'm not that mother, on a diet. My children are extremely lithe & active, i don't want their naturally slim body shapes to hear any of my post 30 issues with weight. FYI my mother was always on a diet & i never got it as she never lost weight, exercised & went out for dinner all the time?? It was just such a bloody annoying thing to hear, as my brothers, sister & i were all athletic & slim. Great story, love Posie

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  4. This is awsome - am sending it to my brother xo

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  5. You could have just described my weight gain/loss, gain/loss story AND we have the same mother! I may seriously look into the hypnotherapy - thank you!

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  6. Amazing Sarah. I think with the generation above us sometimes is that, what they say to us has never been questioned. Like my mother used to describe me pregnant as very wide, or "Your bum is much more spread this time around". She meant no malice, she was just saying it as she saw it. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.

    Well done mate. x

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  7. bronnie@dizzydaisy.comNovember 18, 2010

    I had hypnotherapy after first divorce, and also for birth of second baby. I'm considering trying it again, and I think I've found a good therapist. It really can work if you know what you've got to do but there's something blocking it. Well done to you.
    I come from the same kind of family, except Mum was always at us to put on weight, eat more, exercise less. It was if she wanted to stop us becoming attractive to the opposite sex. She is really overweight, and many of the women in our family are like your Mum: extremely judgemental and negative about anyone who is carrying even an extra little padding, and rewarding of anyone who is skinny, even if dangerously so. I have to take a deep breath and step back from all that. I have enough baggage, I don't need anyone else's. Good for you for sharing.

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  8. I'm so glad to hear it's working for you.
    This whole weight business is nasty!

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  9. Mothers say strange things sometimes - mine once said Ïf your father wasn't already dead, I'd kill him." :)

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  10. Well done Sarah. Especially the way you dealt with your mother's comment.

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  11. i had a friend with weight problem and a very low self esteem who was very close to her doll like, petite and beautiful mother. she needed a lot of therapy to realize that her mum, in a very sweet and gentle way was filling her with guilt simply for not being like her. they are both better now and at the last i knew, AFTER having her own daughter she found to an ideal weight (for her statue) and grandma is more accepting her as her own person too. all the best for you, Sarah!

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  12. Anj (@anjwrites)November 19, 2010

    You continually amaze me - and this post just puts you up another notch!!

    My mum is sooo very similar to yours! The difference is that she's been carrying this since she was a young girl (who was so self-conscious that there are NO pics of her between 13 & 17 years of age) and then gave birth to a naturally petite daughter. I inevitably hit the slower metabolism in uni, but you'd never hear my mum say "You look beautiful, sweetheart, just as you are". And whilst I grew up eating whatever I wanted, once I gained weight in my late teens, her food obsession transferred to me.

    Have been needing to go into therapy for anxiety issues, but think that making sure I bring up my issues with food is pretty damn important - maybe MORE important than I had previously thought.

    Thanks for the thoughtful post!!

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  13. life in a pink fibroNovember 19, 2010

    Great post Sarah. I think a lot of women are in the position you've been in. It only stops for the next generation if we stop it. Go you!

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  14. Chasing a MiracleNovember 19, 2010

    I grew up without a mother, and with a father who outwardly called me fat... I can remember telling my father that i was going for a walk and he said to me 'yes that is a good idea, i have noticed you getting a little chubbier latley' he never told me i was beautiful, never told me i looked good... And now i too struggle with the emotions behind weight loss, the yo yo diets, the feelings of in achievement, the feelings that you are giving it all you've got and yet getting nothing in return.. Its so hard, yet it helps so much to know that i am not alone...
    Thank you

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I am a comment addict. Thank you so much for your words...xx