Wednesday, 8 September 2010

The F-word

I have been lucky enough to guest post over at the lovely Good Golly Miss Holly's over the past few weeks.

I have asked Holly to treat us to some of her words, here, on my blog, by guest posting for me.

About a topic close to my heart - how we feel about our bodies.......

Thank you Holly, for sharing so candidly:

I have spoken openly about my body before.
What I like about myself, and what I don't.

Body image and self appreciation was never an issue. Even as a teenage.

I loved myself. Probably a bit too much.

Motherhood, however, changed that and now I am torn.

The F-word. Fat. I wasn't always.

The patches of vitiligo that have broken out on my hands and chest. Stress induced. Doesn't my body realise how self conscious it makes me?

The no-so-perkiness of my breasts.
The stubborn belly bulge that refuses to budge.

Tuck shop lady arms. Just call me Lunch Lady Doris. Shudder.
 
The stretchmarks.
The chinny chin chins.
Too big for 'average sizing, not big enough for 'plus' sizing.
How I love the pretty, feminine fashion at the moment. It frustrates me to walk past the clothes on display, knowing that I can not wear it.

The lack of discipline to remain faithful to my desire to eat clean.
To exercise more. To be good to my body.
When did I become confident with only putting in half the effort?

Then I stop.

Breathe.

Evaluate.


My beauty is still there. The f-word can't take that away.

Think some more.

And what about the amazing abilities of my body?

I am always so quick to forget about the positives.

I have carried two gorgeous babies to full term, 39 weeks and 41 weeks respectively. 21 months apart.

I have nursed and nourished those two babies. My second is 13 months, and still going.

I have chased, giggled, rolled about, rocked and cradled my two babies.

I have endured not one, but two bouts of Post Natal Depression, yet it never gets the better of me.
I always come through smiling.

Minimal sleep and yet, my body pushes on. Happy to see another day.
My Cesarean scar, I adore. A proud battle scar. A loving reminder.

My body is amazing.
How can one have much appreciation for their body, yet dislike it so?

The answer to that riddle? The key to the secret? Will I ever find it?

Will I ever be happy with my body again?

11 comments:

  1. That was a beautiful post Holly. I'm feeling the same way about y saggy bits- it's a love/hate relationship....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Let me know if you find the answers to these questions, will you? I'm still wondering. You have summed up the conundrum for many women. Acceptance is everything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think its hard to love yourself after you have a baby. Some how everyone is in denial about how much ones body changes & we never tell each other until after.
    When you find the key give us a shout.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonderful post, Lucy. Thank you for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wrote my thoughts about this topic recently too.

    http://cootaitlees.blogspot.com/2010/09/post-baby-body-more-than-i-bargained.html

    It really is a battle!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for sharing this, Lucy. Stirring, moving stuff!

    Cxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bravo Holly and Lucy. Loved the post, hate the F word, laughed at the chinny chin chins (I have them too)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I could just cry... okay, I am! The fact that everything you said in this post is true for me (& so many other women/moms) really makes me feel so not alone! Thanx, I luv it

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great post, thank you for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh yes - can relate to this one. I call the stretch marks on my tummy - my battle wounds. And I love them, for what they represent. But I detest the ones I have on my arms. Beautifully put post.

    ReplyDelete

I am a comment addict. Thank you so much for your words...xx