Charlie is poorly.

I have rambled on a fair bit last week 'bout how gorgeous my two girls are.

Todays post is about Charlie.

My boy.

My middle one.

The one that rocks my world.

The one that I love to twenty million and back again.

He is a male mini me. At four, he is just about the cutest thing in my whole wide world.

He is in so much pain.

He is hurting so badly.

He is so scared and so frightened, and so I am, for him.

He is braver than brave about this thing: braver than should be allowed.

Charlie is in the hospital. Flat on his back. In full traction. In so much incredible musle spasming pain right now. He broke his left femur yesterday afternoon. Taking a ride on his sisters new razor scooter, he took a massive tumble.....and has bust his left thigh bone so badly his little leg is swollen to triple the size it should be.

After hours of waiting and x-rays and shunting and being seen and being prodded last night, he was admitted to the Adelaide Women & Chilrens. For at least 3 weeks. Probably 4. Fuck.

I am just home. Lovely (guilty) husband has just tagged me. Lovely husband will be the one tonight to feel totally useless as he tries to alleviate the pain that is ripping down one side of his four year old sons body.

Lovely husband will be the one tonight who holds his son and just cries with him. Their tears will blend. I know that lovely husband would just about sell his soul to the devil if it meant being able to turn back time and fix Charlie and to take away the pain. I tried last night to bargain. I prayed for the first time in a long time.

I just bathed and tucked the girls in. They are confused and missing him and they feel clunky without him. I did not tuck in enough children tonight. Too few sets of toothypegs got brushed. His jammies are still there and redundant. His room is empty of him and I miss him so much.

So if I am not blogging for a while, think of me as we try and feel our way through each day over the next few weeks. To take care of Charlie and just be with him.  And to try and make life as "normal" as we can for the girls. And not lose ourselves to knackeredness in between.

I am sad tonight. Off to bed now, I think, to cry for my little Charlie boy.