How to Lie to Your Bathroom Scales
1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after
dinner ... as well as in the morning, without
clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight.
2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things can weigh at half a kilo!.
4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always a few kilo off ... hopefullyto your advantage.
5. Always go to the bathroom first. (ie make sure you do a poo!)
6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in, completely naked, of course.
8. Weigh yourself after a haircut; this is good for at least half a kilo of hair (hopefully).
9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?).
10. Start out with just one foot on the scale,
then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Blogged by Diminishing Lucy on Tuesday, March 25, 2008